He who would please all will lose his donkey
Charles Spurgeon · John Ploughman's Pictures; or, More of His Plain Talk for Plain People
WILL LOSE HIS DONKEY AND BE
LAUGHED AT FOR HIS PAINS.
HERE'S a queer picture, and this is the
story which goes with it ; you shall
have it just as I found it in an old book.
(32)
THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. 33
" An old man and his young son were driv-
ing an ass before them to the next market
to sell. * Why have you no more wit/ says
one to the man upon the way, ' than you
and your son to trudge it a-foot, and let the
ass go light ? ' So the old man set his son
upon the ass, and footed it himself ' Why,
sirrah,' says another after this, to the boy,
' ye lazy rogue, you, must you ride, and let
your old father go a-foot ? ' The old man
upon this took down his son, and got up him-
self * Do you see,' says a third, ' how the
lazy old knave rides himself, and the poor
young fellow has much ado to creep after
him ? ' The father, upon this, took up his
son behind him. The next they met asked
the old man whether the ass were his own
or no ? He said, ' Yes.' ' Troth, there's
little sign on't,' says the other, ' by your
loading him thus.' * Well,' says the old man
to himself, * and what am I to do now ? for
I'm laughed at, if either the ass be empty,
or if one of us rides, or both;' and so he
came to the conclusion to bind the ass's
legs together with a cord, and they tried to
carry him to market with a pole upon their
shoulders, betwixt them. This was sport to
3
34 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
everybody that saw it, inasmuch that the
old man in great wrath threw down the ass
into a river, and so went his way home
again. The good man, in fine, was willing
to please everybody, but had the ill fortune
to please nobody, and lost his ass into the
bargain."
He who will not go to bed till he pleases
everbody will have to sit up a great many
nights. Many men, many minds; many
women, many whims; and so if we please
one we are sure to set another grumbling.
We had better wait till they are all of one
mind before we mind them, or we shall be
like the man who hunted many hares at once
and caught none. Besides, the fancies of men
alter, and folly is never long pleased with
the same thing, but changes its palate, and
grows sick of what it doted on. Will Shep-
herd says he once tried to serve two masters,
but, says he, " I soon had enough of it, and
I declared that, if I was pardoned this once,
the next time they caught me at it they
might pickle me in salt and souse me in
boiling vinegar."
" He who would general favor win
And not himself offend,
THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. ^5
To-day the task he may begin,
He'll never, never end."
If we dance to every fiddle we shall soon be
lame in both legs. Good nature may be a
great misfortune if we do not mix prudence
with it.
He that all men would please
Shall never find ease.
It is right to be obliging, but we are not
obliged to be every man's lackey. Put
your hand quickly to your hat, for that is
courtesy ; but don't bow your head at every
man's bidding, for that is slavery. He who
hopes to please all should first fit the moon
with a suit of clothes, or fill a bottomless
barrel with buckets with their hoops off
To live upon the praises of others is to feed
on the air ; for what is praise but the breath
of men's nostrils ? That's poor stuff to
make a dinner of To set traps for claps,
and to faint if you don't get them, is a child-
ish thing ; and to change your coat to please
new company is as mean as dirt. Change
for the better as often as you like, but mind
it is better before you change. Tom of
36 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
Bedlam never did a madder thing than he
who tried to please a thousand masters at
once : one is quite enough. If a man pleases
God he may let the world wag its own way,
and frown or flatter, as the maggot bites.
What is there, after all, to frighten a man in
a fool's grin, or in the frown of a poor
mortal like yourself? If it mattered at all
what the world says of us, it would be some
comfort that when a good man is buried
people say, " He was not a bad fellow after
all." When the cow is dead we hear how
much milk she gave. When the man's gone
to heaven folks know their loss, and wonder
how it was they did not treat him better.
The way of pleasing men is hard, but
blessed are they who please God. He is
not a free man who is afraid to think for him-
self, for if his thoughts are in bonds the
man is not free. A man of God is a manly
man. A true man does what he thinks to
be right, whether the pigs grunt or the dogs
howl. Are you afraid to follow out your
conscience because Tom, Jack, and Harry,
or Mary Ann and Betsy, would laugh at
you ? Then you are not the seventy-fifth
cousin to John Ploughman, who goes on
THE OLD MAN AND HIS DONKEY. 37
his way whistling merrily, though many
find fault with himself, and his plough, and
his horses, and his harness, and his boots,
and his coat, and his waistcoat, and his hat,
and his head, and every hair on it. John
says it amuses them and doesn't hurt him ;
but depend on it you will never catch John
or his boys carrying the donkey.