You may bend the sapling, but not the tree
Charles Spurgeon · John Ploughman's Pictures; or, More of His Plain Talk for Plain People
BUT NOT THE TREE.
LADDER, and pole, and cord will be of
no use to straighten the bent tree;
it should have been looked after much
earlier. Train trees when they are saplings
(94)
BEND THE SAPLING. 95
and young lads before the down comes on
their chins. If you want a bullfinch to
pipe, whistle to him while he is young; he
will scarcely catch the tune after he has
learnt the wild bird's note. Begin early to
teach, for children begin early to sin.
Catch them young and you may hope to
keep them.
Ere your boy has reached to seven,
Teach him well the way to heaven :
Better still the work will thrive,
If he learns before he's five.
What is learned young is learned for life.
What we hear at the first we remember to
the last. The bent twig grows up a crooked
tree. Horse-breakers say
" The tricks a colt getteth at his first backing,
Will whilst he continueth never be lacking."
When a boy is rebellious, conquer him, and
do it well the first time, that there may be
no need to do it again. A child's first les-
son should be obedience, and after that you
may teach it what you please : yet the
young mind must not be laced too tight, or
you may hurt its growth and hinder its
96 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
strength. They say a daft nurse makes a
wise child, but I do not believe it : nobody
needs so much common sense as a mother
or a governess. It does not do to be al-
ways thwarting ; and yet remember if you
give a child his will and a whelp his fill,
both will surely turn out ill. A child's back
must be made to bend, but it must not be
broken. He must be ruled, but not with a
rod of iron. His spirit must be conquered,
but not crushed.
Nature does sometimes overcome nurture,
but for the most part the teacher wins the
day. Children are what they are made :
the pity is that so many are spoiled in the
bringing up. A child may be rocked too
hard ; you may spoil him either by too
much cuffing or too much kissing. I knew
two boys who had a Christian mother, but
she always let them have their own way.
The consequence was that when they grew
up they took to drinking and low company
and soon spent the fortune their father left
them. No one controlled them and they
had no control over themselves, and so they
just rattled along the broad road like
butcher boys with runaway horses, and
BEND THE SAPLING. 97
there was no stopping them. A birch or
two worn out upon them when they were
httle would have been a good use of timber.
Still, a child can be treated too hardly,
and especially he can be shut up too many
hours in school, when a good run and a
game of play would do him more good.
Cows don't give any the more milk for
being often milked, nor do children learn
any more because of very long hours in a
hot room.
A boy can be driven to learn till he loses
half his wits : forced fruits have little flavor;
a man at five is a fool at fifteen. If you
make veal of the calf he will never turn to
beef. Yet learning may be left so long that
the little dunce is always behindhand.
There's a medium in everything and he
is a good father who hits upon it, so that he
governs his family with love, and his family
loves to be governed by him. Some are
like Eli, who let his sons sin and only chided
them a little ; these will turn out to be cruel
parents in the long run : others are too
strict, and make home miserable, and so
drive the youngsters to the wrong road in
another way. Tight clothes are very apt to
7
98 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES.
tear, and hard laws are often broken : but
loose garments tear too, and where there
are no laws at all, things are sure to go
amiss. So you see it is easy to err on either
side, and hard to dance the tight-rope of
wisdom. Depend on it, he who has a wife
and bairns will never be short of care to
carry. See what we get when we come to
marry, yet many there are who will not
tarry.
In these days children have a deal too
much of their own way, and often make
their mothers and fathers their slaves. It
has come to a fine pass when the goslings
teach the geese, and the kittens rule the
cat: it is the upsetting of everything, and
no parent ought to put up with it. It is as
bad for the boys and girls as it is for the
grown folk, and it brings out the worst side
of their characters. I would sooner be a
cat on hot bricks, or a toad under a harrow,
than let my own children be my masters.
No, the head must be the head, or it w^ill
hurt the whole body.
For children out of place
Are a father's disgrace,
If you rule not you'll rue,
For they'll quickly rule you.